It's been awhile since I've sat down and really penned something out. My life has been a whirlwind lately; work, school, family, love, and all the little things in between. If I'm learning anything from all the haze, all the business, it's that we must be active participants in our lives. Sometimes it's far too easy to just float along and react when life changes. But how much more exhilarating (and exhausting) it is when you start acting out your life instead of just reacting to it.
In the mess of everything, in the stress of this very formidable time of my life, I have found someone who I get to share it with. The one thing I have learned above all else from our relationship is that great loves do not just happen. You don't just slap on a ring somewhere and then travel down the road for thirty or forty years and hop out at a rest stop thinking, whew, that was a breeze. Love is not that way. Just as in life, in love you must participate, you must catalyze, you must choose to grow, or else your love will wither and ultimately die. If you cannot choose to grow, to learn and to find the joy amongst the bickering, you will never see a great love.
Being a lover isn't about expecting rainbows every day. Being a lover is about learning to rely on someone, to let them in and to mold your life around theirs. Sometimes (and I'm sure in ten years that word will be "all the time") being a lover means compromising. It means giving up something you are used to or comfortable so that your behaviors honor your lover. It's not about denying ourselves the pleasures of living a full life, yet it's the understanding that sharing your heart and your life with someone means sharing EVERY aspect of it. It starts with dinners and movies, then grows to toothpaste and family gatherings, and eventually it means sharing a bed, a home and the responsibility of caring for children.
Sometimes compromise can be difficult and sometimes it can be as easy as taking one second longer to consider a decision, because you take the other persons feelings into consideration.
Love is not rocket science, it's not chemistry either. And as much as the poets and writers will tell you, it ain't always a work of art, honey. But it is spectacular if you put forth the effort to make it so. It's recognizing that the small, everyday triumphs are what will eventually bring on the larger ones, (those daunting anniversaries of 25, 50, even 75). It may be a bumpy ride, but if you take out the map, listen to your passenger and take plenty of time to enjoy the scenery, you tiny little road trip could turn into an incredible journey.
(just my two sense)
